Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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