I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
