He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
