he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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