So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize