everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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