Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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