the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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