the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
