I wish my penis had an off switch
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
