standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dignity is for republicans.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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