Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
