Kiss
Puke
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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