I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
