Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
