I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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