I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
