He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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