I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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