i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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