I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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