OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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