Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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