I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
