he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
