Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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