Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
