At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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