Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
