i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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