Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
