Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
