Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
