he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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