my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
