his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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