You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
