The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize