life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The air was thick with penises
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
