i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
