i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
worst night to have a conscience
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
