girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
