I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
