Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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