I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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