you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
