No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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