Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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