Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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