i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize