Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize