no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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