my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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