don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
