trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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