Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
