those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
