there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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